


Too Late

by Midlifecrisis



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-12 05:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18439559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midlifecrisis/pseuds/Midlifecrisis
Summary: Isak is a successful Head of Research at UiO. Even has been travelling the world enjoying his own achievements. What if they meet for the first time in their 40s?





	1. The meet cute

Isak

Isak sighed deeply; he ran his hands through his hair, trying to pat it down into some kind of style. It probably needed a cut (for probably, read definitely). He inspected his clothes with a quick glance - they could never really be called an outfit… dark baggy jeans, random black t-shirt, hoodie and dark trainers. His only concession to earning more money was the quality of the trainers. The rest was just the usual budget stuff that he bought at the market - they fitted him where they touched him. They did nothing to improve his look and he really didn’t care.

He placed his hand on the brushed aluminium door and reluctantly pushed his way into the bar,

“Surprise! Happy Birthday Isak!”

“Wow, you guys, thank you so much. What a surprise!”

Isak glanced round the room; Twenty of his colleagues were smiling at him happily, raising their glasses in a toast and wishing him a ‘fantastic’ 40th Birthday. He knew they meant well. They had chosen this bar/club because it was where all the young ones liked to come. They would arrive for drinks after work and just stay. They would keep drinking into the night until the music started and the dance floor began to fill about 24:00, then it would be sweaty bodies and drunken hook ups and that would give them plenty to gossip about over coffee the next day at the lab.

Isak loved his job and he loved his team. They were loyal to their work; most of them saw it as a vocation and not just a way to earn money. They gave their best effort for him. He knew he was well respected as the Head of Research and he was proud of all they were achieving. He took his responsibilities very seriously. He had always known that his interest in life sciences and maths would lead him to science as a career, but the sense of satisfaction that he got from working on new treatments for all kinds of conditions and diseases never failed to amaze him. At the moment, the team were getting ready to start an interdisciplinary project, something UiO were very big on. Their focus was to be self-harm and suicide - particularly amongst adolescents. His team would research the chemical and medication side, whilst a psychology team would link in their behavioural therapies. He was excited and ready to get going.

He sighed another deep sigh and looked around the room. He lifted his beer and smiled as real a smile as he could manage,

“Cheers! The next round is on me.” he announced

“”Cheers!” everyone shouted back at him, “To the best boss in the world”

From that moment, the night got rowdier and messier. Everyone kept buying Isak drinks, each person wanting a little time with him, to tell him how much they enjoyed the lab, or how working for him was better than they thought it would have been. He was truly delighted to be on the receiving end of such compliments.

Anna plomped herself down beside him, on a rather sticky and badly upholstered fake red velvet sofa.

“So boss? How are you enjoying you birthday?” she slurred at him

“Ah…Number One!” he exclaimed. 

Anna was the Depute Head of Research and in tribute to her not so subtle Star Trek addiction, he referred to her as Number One, second-in-command of any starship.

“Why are you sitting over here all alone? You should be up showing us your moves on the dance-floor!” 

In her early thirties, Anna was a genius in the area of human chemistry. She was short and plump, with a dark brown bob and big round eyes to match. She lived life to the full and was an excellent co-worker for Isak.

“Well One, it has been a good few years since this booty has dared to grace a dance-floor. I’m not sure the world could take it.”

In his student days, Isak had always been first up to dance, desperate to use up his energy and to let himself go with the beat. He had always loved music - unable to create it, but happy to listen to it in any form and dance along when he could. Isak all of a sudden felt old. He was only 40, but the distance between himself and the young colleagues in front of him might as well have been 100 years. He never danced any more.

They were all potential and possibilities - especially in their personal lives. They were looking for mates and partners, keen to explore new options, new bodies and new experiences. He felt like there was nothing surprising left to him now. He didn’t think he had ever had a real relationship- you couldn’t count his awful attempts with girls in high school and that horrific six months with Julian, a two timing, closeted, married bastard of a man. It has been many years since anyone but himself and his doctor had seen his body. Even at the gym, he wore baggy t-shirts and sweats and always showered at home.

“Come on!” Anna insisted. “Time to show us how they did it in the olden days,” she laughed.

Isak could see that he would have to humour her for at least one song. He smiled back at her, drained his beer and stood up. He walked to the dance floor and tentatively bopped his head to the beat, listening to what the music was doing. Before he knew it his eyes were closed and he could have been anywhere. The music pounded loudly through his skull, not bothering with the need to travel through his ears at all. He could feel the beat in every bone in his body. Why had he waited so long to do this? He had forgotten how much he loved the feeling of dancing and losing yourself in the mass of bodies. This was amazing. He danced on and on as the songs changed and the dance floor filled up until he had a tiny space to himself. He had lost sight of anyone from his group but he couldn’t have cared less. His hair was wet on his neck and forehead, curling into little dark circles and his t-shirt was clinging to him with sweat. It was exhilarating and he felt amazing. 

He felt alive.

\---

Even

Even sighed deeply; he ran his hands through his hair, making sure that it was still styled correctly. He paused at the brushed aluminium door and glanced down at his clothes. Sharp cut distressed denim, just worn enough Converse, tight white t-shirt (the best he could afford, to make sure that he held its shape, whilst showing HIS shape). He had a thin leather band round one wrist and a tattoo on the other. Why was he here? At 43 he was too old for this, but what else did you do on a Friday night in Oslo, especially when you had no friends to call on?

Through no choice of his own, he had just moved back to Oslo after many years of working around the world and he needed to ground himself. Be somewhere familiar. He pushed open the door and strode in, with as much chill as he could muster.

The noise and smell hit him like a wave of pure energy.

The dance floor was full of bodies - mostly in the dark but with, as his trained eye noticed, excellent lighting. The music was exceptional for such a run of the mill club. It was heavy, a deep bass beat vibrating through the floor and up into his soul. He could tell they had an excellent DJ. 

Even stopped and stared.

At the edge of the throng, there was a solitary body, eyes closed, moving to the beat like he was in his own world. His clothes were awful - well apart from the trainers - but the look on his face was an image from heaven. He was lost in his own world. His dirty blond hair was darkened further by a significant amount of sweat, that made it curl and stick to his temples and forehead, and as he moved and turned, Even could see it sticking to the back of his neck as well.

Even’s skin prickled. He wanted to touch, to sweep the damp curls and lick his own fingers. In fact, never mind his fingers, to sweep the damp curls directly with the tip of his tongue. 

Even could see the dark t-shirt clinging to the dancer’s frame, rather more well-built than the baggy top would have shown normally. As he lifted his hands above his head with the beat, his top lifted ever so slighted and showed a glimpse of a rather tight abdomen. Even began to sweat. He shouldn’t be looking, this was borderline creepy but he couldn’t stop. What colour were the eyes beneath those eyelids? Blue like his own, or perhaps the more common grey? 

He couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

The beat slowed and changed into a song meant to encourage people to couple up. The dancer stopped, confused at the loss of his rhythm. He slowly came out of his own world and immediately made eye-contact with Even staring directly at him.

His eyes were green.


	2. Looking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's POV

Isak

It was a cliché, but that didn't make it any less true. It could be safely said that Isak Valtersen was married to his job. It was his longest and most successful relationship.

He had led teams in UiO for the past fifteen years, successfully creating medications for Diabetes and Parkinson's. Before that, he had been part of the productive lab that had improved treatments for men's cancers way before they were 'fashionable'. Previous to that he had been a reliable and trusted lab technician and a motivated Ph.D. candidate. Even at the start, he was an enthusiastic undergraduate. Isak loved learning.

Isak found fulfillment and satisfaction every day in his lab - even the days that involved disappointments. He always felt that he was moving closer and closer to the goal of each project and that THAT was the wonder of science: closed doors or 'failures' could be just as useful as every successful trial or experiment.  
He loved what he did.

He stayed at work as long as possible every day, completing all his responsibilities. He gave time at weekends to tasks, and was often found in the lab way earlier than necessary to get jobs started. He knew his team well and listened to their issues with work as well as their personal stories, problems, and joys. He was invited to weddings and Christenings, naming ceremonies and birthday parties. He was well liked and respected.

But, and there could be no avoiding this...

Isak was lonely.

Isak had first understood he was gay in high school, when it became obvious that boobs and pussy did just not do it for him. His crush on his best friend Jonas had caused a few problems as he navigated these new feelings, but overall, his coming out had been pretty unremarkable. As had every attempt at a relationship since then. He had blown and been blown, shagged and been shagged, enjoyed mutual masturbation and more often than not, solo masturbation to some rather tame porn. Sex and orgasms were nice, but he didn’t think that his world had ever been rocked. In fact, Isak doubted that anyone’s world ever had been rocked. He blamed the media and especially the arts for giving people unrealistic ideas of the fulfillment that could come from pairing up with another human being. His only long term relationship with Bastard Julian had actually caused him more pain than any time alone ever had.

He met Julian in his early twenties, at a gay bar of all places – another cliché! They had hit it off immediately, Julian was funny and gregarious, he made Isak laugh and had been confident enough to take the lead in the relationship. As they had grown closer, Isak was pleased that Julian, at Isak’s request, kept a distance, an independence from each other. Isak didn’t want to live in the pocket of someone else: be solely reliant on another human being. 

Of course, Isak eventually found out that this distance hadn’t really been for Isak’s benefit. It allowed Julian to live the double life of a married man, firmly hidden in the closet, with a nice bit of male action on the side. If it hadn’t been for the serendipitous reading of a text from his wife on Julian’s OTHER phone, Isak would never have known.

Isak hadn’t made a scene, it wasn’t his style. He told Julian it was over and asked him to never contact him again. He changed his phone and his locks and threw himself into work at the lab, eventually earning within 2 years the promotion that made him the youngest Head of Research in the history of UiO. So it wasn’t all bad. 

OK, there may have been a dull ache that had lasted for a few months, and perhaps he had cried a little bit at the betrayal. It wasn't nice to be lied to. But Isak was a grown man and he could swallow down his feelings and cope. 

Although Isak looked at men, and enjoyed the male form, he always felt it was a bit more like art appreciation rather than being turned on by, or attracted to, someone. He had never seen someone who made him ‘want’. Until now – that is. At the age of exactly 40, Isak was having his world rocked and it involved no touching whatsoever.

Isak stared at the blue eyes staring back at him. He instinctively looked behind him to see if the guy was looking at someone else, but when he turned back, the guy’s focus hadn’t shifted, his eyes were on him like a laser. Isak was still breathing heavily from his dance floor exercise, and as his shoulders rose and fell he was aghast to realise that that guy was slowly walking towards him, never moving his eyes or breaking their gaze. His normal breathing should have returned by now – he did cardio three times a week at the gym, but for some reason, he was still out of breath. It felt way more intimate than anything Isak had ever experienced. He tried to run, walk, move…anything; but like a gazelle being hunted by a lioness, he was hypnotised by the blue gaze.

The man came to a stop immediately in front of him. He was almost the same height as Isak, just a little taller, although it looked more with that ridiculously swoopy, yet overwhelmingly touchable, hairstyle. He had to concentrate to keep his hands at his side, his fingers beginning to wiggle in anticipation. Isak swallowed thickly, and was horrified to notice that the man broke eye contact to watch his throat as it worked hard to do its job. He still looked like a lioness eyeing up his prey. The man also swallowed heavily and his eyes snapped back to Isak’s once more.

“Even.” the man said. His voice was achingly deep and seemed to go straight to the butterflies that had appeared in Isak’s stomach before fluttering on to his dick.

Isak nodded and continued to stare. The man - Even – had on a tight fitting t-shirt that showed his slender, almost skinny body, and delicate collar bones. He had a leather strap around his left wrist, like something the students wore, and a simple black and white tattoo of a happy face mask and sad face mask on his right - like the symbol for a mime. Isak tried not to look at his crotch. He might have failed.

The pause was significant. It was beginning to get uncomfortable. Isak couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His name would be good. Maybe a comment about the club. The weather. Anything.

The man smiled the most outrageously crinkly grin that Isak had ever seen. His eyes disappeared to slits and he chuckled.

“Good talk!”

Isak woke up, “Isak!” he blurted out. “My name, its Isak.” He put out his right hand to shake, like he was in a finance meeting or something. He inwardly groaned. Oh my God, this guy would turn and run any minute at Isak’s inept social skills. He flirted like an amateur. He WAS an amateur!

Even looked at Isak’s hand and after a few seconds took it in a firm shake. He held onto Isak’s hand and re-made eye contact.

“Nice to meet you Isak, can I buy you a drink?”

Isak nodded, “Although, would you mind if I had water, I’ve kind of had enough for one night, and I'm a bit dehydrated from all the dancing.”

“I think you could have anything you wanted, Isak” Even mumbled sotto voce, still staring, and Isak blushed violently.

Even came back with two large cups of water and moved him like a sheepdog herding the flock, never touching but in control, to a standing table at the edge of the room. They drank in silence, keeping eye contact but saying nothing.

“So Isak…” started Even.

Just at that, Anna appeared behind Isak. She was obviously flying, well-oiled and as a result, totally ignorant of the global, no… COSMIC proceedings taking place between Isak and Even. Disregarding the almost physical sexual tension she verbally destroyed Isak’s first ever ‘lust at first sight’ moment.

“Hey, birthday boy! It's 02:00. Time to go before you turn into a pumpkin. Say goodbye to your new acquaintance and take your abandoned girlfriend for something to eat! Kebab awaits, and no drunk person ever said no to kebab!” she stumbled, almost falling over, only stopped by Isak’s quick reactions as he bent over and caught her. She hung, sloppily, round his neck.

Isak tried to communicate his sorrow to Even with his eyes and face.

“OK Number One, let's get you home. Well, it was nice to meet you Even.”

Isak metaphorically slapped his own forehead, he was obviously back in the finance meeting!

“It was nice to meet you too, Isak.” Even smiled another of his crinkly grins and Isak thought how he could spend all day looking at the sight.

Even paused and looked thoughtful. He held out his right hand for Isak to shake. Isak gently manoeuvered Anna to a chair and put her down for a moment to free his right hand. He slowly touched Even's palm with his own and closed his fingers over Even’s fingers. He held his hand and looked into his eyes.

“I hope we bump into each other again,” Isak said.

He smiled a melancholy smile and turned to drop Even’s hand and leave. Even stretched his arm out to let Isak go, but at the last moment he used the leverage of their arms and still joined hands to tug Isak back towards him. He gently touched Isak’s lips with his own. A warm, tender, caring but hopeful kiss.

“I certainly hope so.”


	3. Legacies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find Even very difficult to write. I do not wish to underplay his bipolar, but I am no expert.  
> I hope this is ok.

Even

Oslo. Fucking Oslo. Even stared at the letter in his hand. 

He couldn't believe he was back in the city that chewed him up and spat him out 20 years ago.

He sat with his annoyingly expensive green tea (why was Oslo SO expensive?) and watched the tourists heading for the Munch Museum and the locals wandering lazily, relaxing into their Saturday afternoon.

What was the old saying, "You can never go home again"? He always knew that he never WANTED to go home again, but now that he was in Oslo, he was rather shocked to find that his home was no longer there. Not physically of course, his parents house still actually existed and Oslo's main streets and buildings were still there, but they were no longer his. He had not been part of the changes and developments, and if he was honest, he hadn't wanted to be. Not only that, but the changes to him, to Even, were something that Oslo had not been a part of or privy to so he felt no connection.

Yet something still ached. The place where you grew up could never be replaced, and God, he had certainly grown up here!

His final year of high school had been awful. He had exploded his way out of the closet at the same time as learning he was Bipolar, experiencing his first full blown manic episode, followed by the severest depression of any he had ever felt before or since.

Even had fallen in love with his best friend, Mikael, who did not return his feelings. He had announced his ardour publicly and kissed him, which unsurprisingly freaked the boy out. This had triggered a severe high, the energy and focus of which had resulted in Even reading and memorising as much of the Qur'an as he could, to show that he was good boyfriend material. This tactic failed, what did he expect? The following depression had resulted in a severe self harm event that he still didn't like to think about. Even had to miss the rest of the year and repeat in order to graduate. He lost his whole friendship group at the same time as gaining the challenge of a mental health diagnosis.

When school finished, Even ran. He moved to Berlin, where he worked in clubs and bars in order to make ends meet. He was determined to manage his condition and he lived the healthiest life of any other Berliner. He ate well, slept regular hours (although somewhat nocturnal), avoided alcohol and recreational drugs, kept a journal and took his medications. The highs and lows came, but he got better at predicting and managing. He was always going to be bipolar, but it was not ALL he was going to be. 

It was in Berlin that he met and was taken on by a local DJ. The guy, Hans, had fancied Even, and as their friendship developed into something romantic, he showed Even the ropes - how to mix and run a dance floor. For three years Even put in the time, learning from the ground up. With a reference from Hans, and his experience in clubs, he got into a music tech course in Edinburgh. Even hadn't realised how well respected the course was. He learned so much, and for the first time, in a long time, felt that he was in the right place. He had picked up courses in business and event management, and by the time he graduated with a first class degree, he had enough contacts to begin his own business.

He was successful, not famous, but well known in the industry. He was independently wealthy and enjoyed moving around mostly Europe following the business where he wanted to go.

And now here he was. Oslo. Fucking Oslo.

The death of both his parents, within 3 months of each other, meant that Even was back and dealing with their will, the house and other administrative matters. It was not an onerous job, but as an only child, it was his responsibility. He was sad to lose both of them, they had kept in contact but were not overly close. They had been in their 40s when he was born, so their deaths were not surprising or traumatic. He had been preparing himself for a while.

The only surprise had been the letter. 

Even's dad was a wise investor and he had been donating for many years to mental health charities and research projects with his profits. It touched him deeply to realise that his dad had shown his love for Even by helping others in the same situation as his son had been in school. The letter he was now staring at informed him that as the biggest donor to UiO's new research project into adolescent self harm and suicide, he was invited to an investors' event next weekend, to meet the team and hear about their plans.

Well, it gave him something to look forward to and get dressed up for. If he had been at all switched on last night, he would have asked that guy Isak for his number, or at least his second name! Then he would have something else to look forward to. He couldn't help but smile every time he remembered how Isak had held out his hand when Even introduced himself, like it was a meeting with his bank manager, not a potential hook up in a club. 

Isak. Even couldn't put his finger on anything specific, but God, he had felt electrified when looking at him. He had seen younger, fitter, taller, more handsome guys. He had definitely seen better dancers and better dressed men. But something in the way that Isak had moved...an honesty. There was a naïveté to Isak that astounded Even. In his business, an industry of smoke and mirrors, where everyone tried to be something they at they were not, he had a feeling that Isak would be different. More of a 'what you see is what you get' kind of guy.

Unfortunately it was too late now.


	4. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna's POV

Anna

Anna glowered at Isak as he tapped his pencil rhythmically on the conference table.

"Must you?" She snapped.

"What's up with you, Number One? You can't still be hungover, it's Monday morning and the last I saw, you were snoring on the tram on the way home at about 04:00 on Saturday morning after eating a disgustingly drippy kebab."

Anna groaned, she was going to have to confess, 

"If you must know, my weekend didn't end when I left you. I got a guy's number on Friday at your party and we met up on Saturday night, which lasted nicely until I kicked him out of bed this morning to come into work and listen to you complete a drum-n-bass number on my frontal lobe."

She tried to ignore Isak as he smiled cheekily at her. 

"Nice. I know how you love a workplace hangover. Good job! I assume he was worth it?"

"Thank you, he absolutely was," she grinned. "Don't worry, I'll be on my best behaviour for the senior leaders team meeting. No-one will ever know. You know it would be nice if just once it was YOU who had to explain their less than perfect presentation at work."

Isak smiled at her again, and shook his head, "That's rather unlikely don't you think."

She though she saw something else behind his eyes but couldn't be certain. She never really thought of Isak as a sexual person. He was like a big brother to her and in the 6 years she had known him, she didn't think he had ever been in a relationship or even on a date. She knew he was gay, but hadn't ever seen him with anyone. She had a vague recollection that Isak had been talking to someone at his birthday party, but she couldn't really remember. It was all a bit fuzzy after the third round of tequila shots.

Anna shook her head to try and focus. This project was a great opportunity for her to make a good impression that could lead to her running her own lab. Isak had already been in charge for over 5 years when he was her age...but then he had superhuman discipline and no personal life to speak of so what else would he be doing with his time?

Anna took a sip of her very large black coffee, before glugging a large amount of water from her bottle and taking a couple of painkillers. Perhaps her actions so close to the meeting had been unwise, but the guy, Johannes? Jan? Brett? Whatever, had been an excellent shag with a specific skill set. She smiled remembering.

The meeting with the Psychology researchers went very well. As usual, Anna noted, Isak had been super prepared. He knew all about the history of the project as well as the background of the main researcher, Dr Amira Abbas, from the psychology side. He spoke to her about her home country of Morocco with a personal knowledge - apparently he travelled there solo as a teenager. He charmed them with nothing more than his honesty and intellect, and they all left the meeting feeling the excitement that a new project always brought, at least when Isak was in charge. The only thing left before they started the project proper was the investors event on Saturday.

Anna had watched Isak at these events many times. He was a consummate professional and an excellent communicator (although his wardrobe choices always left a lot to be desired). He never failed to remain calm and charming. He explained the science in such a way as to show the detail and depth, but not to overwhelm them with anything that they would not understand. She knew she was lucky to have him as a mentor, and although they had worked on the presentation together and he had offered her the opportunity lead the full event this time round, she was happy to contribute the little section about the methods they would be using on the medical side. She didn't have Isak's confidence in front of people outside of the lab setting.

Anyway, Isak was never distracted when he was on the job, and she couldn't see him changing now.


	5. Shared interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again.

Even

Even took a final look in the mirror of his hotel room - a penthouse in the Radisson Blu. He could have afforded something more showy, but these couple of rooms would do him just fine until his parent's paperwork was sorted and he could leave Oslo. Fucking Oslo. He was desperate to meet up with his team in Barcelona. The music festival there was an annual event and he always enjoyed his part in it.

His outfit was looking good even if he thought so himself. It was a skinny navy blue three piece suit with his favourite suede navy boots. The cotton in the suit was mixed with silk which made the cut exquisite, especially around his arse, and he knew the colour enhanced the blue of his eyes. His shirt was his favourite floral one, which gave him a look that was just a little less formal. No tie he thought. He had slicked his hair a little differently, less height but more suave. 

He looked good.

He checked the UiO invite to make sure that he was on time. He locked the door behind him and went to hail a taxi.

As he sipped his fizzy water, Even hadn't touched alcohol in years, he glanced round the room. The rest of the investors were all a lot older than himself, probably more like his dad. He made polite conversation, explaining that the invitation was part of his dad's legacy but that he was interested to hear about the research. Little did the others know why. Even had been the exact target of this project - a teen with mental health problems and a serious attempt at suicide. But that was a long time ago.

A woman in a smart suit asked if they could all take their seats, the presentation was about to begin. Even chose a seat near the front, he always liked to show his enthusiasm, and settled himself in for the sales pitch.

 

Isak

"Isak, for god's sake tuck your t-shirt in. You look like a student."

Isak looked down at himself.

"I always wear this, Number One, what's wrong with it? My clothes don't make me a better scientist."

"I know, but this is PR. You have to try and show the investors that you are worth their money."

"Anna stop worrying," Isak sighed. "This project will sell itself, it's an excellent and worthy cause. And me tucking in my t-shirt will make no difference at all. You ready? Let's do this!"

Isak confidently strode onto the stage as the lights dimmed. He clicked the first slide on the presentation.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr Isak Valtersen and I am the Head of Research on this project. Along with Dr Amira Abbas," he pointed to his colleague who stood up, "we will be investigating new therapies and medications to deal with adolescent mental health issues - particularly self harm and suicide. Your generous contributions will help us make a difference to some of the most vulnerable young people in our society."

Isak paused and took the opportunity to look round the room. He felt that the generosity of the investors should at least be acknowledged with a little eye contact. As his eyes moved from the back of the room to the front he stopped suddenly. His eyes were caught like a rat in a trap. Piecing blue. Looking directly at him with an amused smile underneath. With the direct eye contact, the face crinkled up, his eyes disappearing completely as the owner of the face grinned at him.

Even!

Isak stared. Isak paused. Isak totally stopped speaking. Isak stared. Even looked back at him. Isak felt his hand lift and he began to automatically tuck his t-shirt into his jeans. He had no idea why. He couldn't move his eyes. Gazelle. He was a gazelle and there was nothing he could do. The pause lengthened. Behind him, Anna coughed. Isak still didn't move. Even didn't look away. The room began to grow restless and Isak suddenly noticed. 

"So, I would like to introduce my deputy to you, Dr Anna Sommers, who will take you through the rest of the presentation. Anna." He held out the pointer and remote and passed it to Anna. She looked at him and quickly dipped her eyebrows. Isak just raised his own eyebrows back at her and pointed to the podium. She walked up and began.

"As Isak, erm... Dr Valtersen was saying, this project will help some of the most vulnerable..."

At this point Isak zoned out. He avoided Even's gaze. It took all his strength but he managed to look in Anna's general direction with a blankly interested look on his face, whilst his mind was in turmoil. What the fuck was Even doing here and why had Isak turned into a bumbling fool, who had obviously lost all ability with language and thought?

The next thing Isak noticed was polite applause. The crowd broke up and began to move towards the buffet and bar. This was the point of the evening when the scientists were meant to mingle and give a bit of attention to the guests. Isak walked down the stage past Anna, studiously ignoring her every attempt to ask why the HELL he had dumped her in it like that, until he was standing immediately in front of Even.

Even smiled and stuck out his hand. 

"Hi, Even Bech Naesheim. I am here representing my dad who has just passed away. That was a very interesting presentation."

Isak took Even's hand in his own and shook it firmly. Looking all the time directly in Even's eye. It felt so familiar.

"Dr Isak Valtersen. Head of Research on this project. We are very grateful for your support. I am very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you Dr Valtersen. I have some questions about the project. I wonder if there is somewhere we could go to discuss it further?"

Isak had run out of words. He thought carefully and then walked towards the door, ignoring the looks of Anna and the rest of his colleagues, pulling Even in his wake along behind him. Before he knew it he was at the front reception, standing in the evening light and totally clueless as to what he was doing. He turned and looked at Even.

"Would you like to discuss as we walk Isak?" Even offered.

Isak nodded silently and eventually began moving in the direction of Vigeland Park.

They walked steadily towards the park, but Isak could think of nothing to say. Why did Even turn him into a silent moron? He glanced at Even as they walked. He looked like a god. His suit was delicious, almost painted on and his hair was a wet dream. What was he doing? Why was he walking with this man to a park? Why had he abandoned his job? Who was he, what had possessed him? 

"I was very surprised to see you again, Isak. I thought I had missed the chance to get to know you."

Isak looked at him. He REALLY had to say something, and soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they'll talk in the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for your comments.


	6. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking and kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind comments and kudos.

Isak

As they walked side by side, Isak took a deep breath...

"I'm usually very erudite, you know. It's one of my skills, I communicate clearly at many different levels: with colleagues when discussing a complicated chemical analysis or with a layman when trying to explain our results. Even in my personal life with my friends and colleagues I am told that I am a sound giver of advice and great for a chat when needed."

Isak looked at Even who smiled encouragingly. 

"But with you...you..I mean...I can't...I seem to be...reduced to silence at best...idiocy at worst."

Even let out a loud crack of a laugh. "Well, it's good to know that I have that effect on you."

Isak looked at him blankly and then broke into a grin. 

They turned into the entrance of the park and naturally began to head towards the monolith at the centre.

"I've always loved these sculptures," sighed Even. "But it's been twenty years since I've been here."

"To the park?"

"No. To Oslo." Even answered, then more quietly, "Fucking Oslo." 

Isak sat on a bench and looked up at Even in the late evening summer light. He shone. 

"Do you want to sit for a bit?"

Even sat beside him, staring up at the enormous carving of writhing humanity that made up the monolith. 

"I am very attracted to you Isak" he said as his eyes roamed over the figures on the sculpture. "I was from the first moment I saw you at the club. I assumed that I had lost my opportunity to get to know you until fate stepped in. I would like to spend time with you and get to know you better. Is that something you would like to do?"

Isak blushed a little and turned his head to look directly at Even.

"Even, I have very little experience of this type of thing. I've never been in a relationship. Well, I thought I was once, but being the weekend shag to a married closet case apparently doesn't count! I have no idea what to do here. All I can do is speak honestly...it's one thing that I actually always try to do."

Even nodded. "What you see is what you get." He smiled.

Isak nodded back. "I am also very attracted to you Even. I honestly don't think I've ever felt like this before. In my job I know that emotions are just blood chemicals- hormones- and electrical impulses. I can recreate happiness, for example, in someone by medicating them or shocking their brain directly with electrodes." 

"Ok Dr Frankenstein," Even laughed, "a little worrying!"

"You know what I mean...I've never really trusted feelings because I thought they could be so easily manipulated. Facts seem so much more reliable. I always thought that the songwriters, and poets, and movie makers were lying about it. But when I look at you...I wonder if Shakespeare and The Beatles and Bob Dylan were actually on to something."

He turned and looked squarely at Even.

"May I kiss you? I mean technically you kissed me first at the club last weekend and you have already told me that you liked me, so I probably could just lean in, but I felt that maybe things are different now, and with the whole 'consent is sexy' thing going on and the fact that we're outside, I didn't want to assume...oh."

Isak stopped talking when Even took his hand.

"Yes please, Isak"

Isak shuffled forward, as Even moved closer towards him. To Isak's delight they were going to meet in the middle. Isak closed his eyes and tilted his head and lent in. Even did the same, but to the same side, this resulted in their noses bumping. As they both opened their eyes, Isak mumbled "Rookie error..." Even just smiled and slid his nose down the side of Isak's until their lips met. It was gentle and still. Isak breathed and re-closed his eyes.

Even tilted his head to the other side and slowly began to move his lips, kissing and pecking at Isak's mouth. Isak responded tentatively, a little unsure. This went on for a little while until Isak became more confident. He felt Even's tongue peek out and request entry. Isak moaned low in the back of his throat and allowed his lips to part. He met Even's tongue with his own. Even groaned back at him. Before he knew it, they were deep in each other's mouths.

They made out like teenagers. Isak reached one hand up to the back of Even's neck, stroking the smooth skin there with his thumb. With the other he moved it over Even's arms and shoulders, under his jacket and round his slender waist. Even moved his left hand up into Isak's hair and twirled the curls round his forefinger and scratched at his skull. With his right he placed the flat of his palm on Isak's chest and felt his heart beat through the thin t-shirt.

When eventually they pulled apart they were both breathing unsteadily and looked rather more ruffled than when they had entered the park. Isak's hair was sticking out in all directions and Even's suit was rumpled. Both of their lips were slick and pink.

Isak giggled. He actually giggled. "That was fucking amazing!" He shivered.

"Come on." Even said, "you're getting cold. Let's get something to eat."

Isak stood up first, pulling Even up. But he didn't let go of his hand, he just altered the grip and held Even's hand as they walked. 

"I know a lovely cafe. Can we go there and talk?"

Even nodded and followed.

 

Even

Even was holding Isak's hand. Isak was holding Even's hand. Even was walking through Oslo (fucking AMAZING Oslo) holding a man's hand and he was happy. Kissing Isak had been one of the best experiences of his life. 

Physically, Isak totally turned him on. He was both gentle and forceful, willing to be both lead and be led. His lips were delightful, and Even couldn't stop thinking about his top lip- the little dip that for some reason was so erotic to lick. Oh God, he hoped he hadn't been too creepy about that. He couldn't remember the last time he had just sat and kissed someone without it leading on to sex.

Emotionally, Even was wrecked. As a theory he had always accepted love at first sight as a possibility, but a very remote one, certainly for anyone like him. But he couldn't deny that as well as lust, he felt something deeper. A desire to KNOW this man. The thought of all that ahead of them just filled him with delight.

He glanced at Isak as they walked. His hair was a glorious mess and his face was a little pinker than before. He began to stare at his lips. Isak turned round, caught his eye and smiled at him. Even blushed and smiled back.

It was 21:00 by the time they reached the cafe and thankfully it was warm and comfortable inside, the air had started to get chilly.

Isak led them to a table and they sat opposite each other, hands still linked on the table top. A waiter came over with menus, meaning they had to drop hands to pick them up and look. Even immediately felt the loss. He took the opportunity to take his jacket off and roll up his sleeves. He saw Isak glance at his tattoo.

"The kitchen closes at 22:00 but we're open til 24:00. I'll be back in a minute to take your order."

Once they had both ordered and Even was sipping his green tea, Isak his sweet mocha, Even cleared his throat and looked at his cup. He held out his wrist.

"It's a symbol for Bipolar disorder. I'm Bipolar. It's why my dad invested in your project. I had my first major episode in my late teens and it's the reason I left Oslo."

Isak nodded and Even made eye contact with him.

"I assume you know a lot about it, as it's your focus for the next few years?"

Isak nodded again, and waited to see if Even was finished. Even nodded back at him.

"I know and understand the latest research on the brain chemistry and I will be involved with overseeing therapy developments, but I haven't spoken to any of our volunteer subjects yet. I am in no way an expert on the reality of living with the condition. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

"Isak, for some reason I want to tell you anything and everything." Isak smiled the sweetest smile Even had ever seen.

He began to talk. He started with Mikael and his 'coming out', explaining about the mania and his mistakes with his friends. He described his awful experience in repeating his final year alone. He paused.

"My dad chose to invest in your project for a specific reason." 

Isak took Even's hand on the table, and held it gently, between both of his palms. He was allowing him to take his time, continue or stop. It was up to Even. All said through touch.

"I tried to end my life. To kill myself." Isak's hands remained steady.

"The depression was so severe that I lost months and at my lowest point I could see no way forward. I was still awaiting a diagnosis and the only 'treatment' I was getting was counselling. It wasn't a well thought out suicide attempt - I wasn't functioning well. I overdosed on painkillers but was found immediately by my mum who took me to Emergency. They pumped my stomach and kept me in. I ended up being admitted to the psychiatric ward and then a facility, which in the end was the best thing for me. The care was excellent and over the next year I was able to at least graduate. I will tell you more details later if you want, but I don't like to think about it too much because I have worked so very hard to live with this condition. It is a part of me. I will never be cured, and I still have mania and depression, but I understand myself much better now and the people around me, especially in my business, know what to do."

Even took a deep breath and a sip of his now cooler tea. He looked at Isak.

"Thank you Even." He leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I'm finding it a little strange that the whole sorry event has actually led, through my dad, to meeting you."

They talked solidly for the next three hours. As they ate open sandwiches and had more tea, they shared old memories, stories of their careers, people they loved, mistakes they had made and worries about the future. Even found himself imagining. He imagined himself as a part of Isak's day to day life - coming home to Isak at the end of a day, Isak coming home to him at the end of a day. He felt his edges begin to blur and start to merge with Isak.

As the waiter tidied up around them, making it obvious that it was time to go, Even turned to Isak.

"Come home with me?"


	7. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More.

Isak

"Come home with me?" Even had asked when they had been kicked out of the cafe at midnight. Isak had looked at him cheekily.

"Are you propositioning me? I'd like it to be known that it takes more than a sandwich and coffee to lure me into bed."

"Oh, I fully intend to wine/soft drink and dine you and then bed you, Dr Valtersen, but that's not what I meant." Isak blushed furiously and Even laughed at his heat.

"I mean, would you come with me to my parent's house tomorrow. I've done all the heavy work, but I just need to swing past for the final time and pick up the last few items and then lock up and pass the keys to the lawyers."

Isak blinked at him. "I would be honoured to go with you. Are you sure you want me there?"

"Isak, if it wasn't so tragic I would tell you that in all of Oslo you are the single person who knows me the best as of this moment. If it doesn't freak you out too much, it would help me tremendously if you would come with me. I think it might just be a little too dramatic on my own. I could do with your practical brain for a while."

Isak smiled and agreed. He paused outside the cafe. His house was in the opposite direction to Even's hotel. He looked at Even.

"I don't want to leave you," he said simply.

"Neither do I." Even responded. They both smiled.

"Ok...honesty?" Even started, Isak nodded. "Please come to my hotel and stay with me. I need to sleep properly or else I begin to get a bit wobbly. It's a massive bed and I promise to keep my hands to myself. I sleep really soundly. We could have breakfast together and then swing past my parent's apartment and then go out for something to eat? How does that sound?"

It sounded heavenly to Isak. He agreed, Even hailed a taxi and they spoke non-stop on the journey - as if an unknown barrier had been breached and they were free to continue whatever this actually was.

Isak hadn't realised that Even could afford the actual 'penthouse' and the ride up in the glass elevator had given him a beautiful view of the Olsofjord.

"Are you a spy?" He had asked.

"Oh no, you've worked out my secret. I am here on a mission to lure unsuspecting scientists into my honey trap and then lock them up to work on my plan to take over the world!"

"Well, it's embarrassing just how easy I was!" Isak laughed.

In the suite Even showed Isak to the bathroom and gave him a clean t-shirt and pair of boxers. Isak was glad to get changed behind a door. When he had got dressed that morning he hadn't been expecting anyone would see his underwear, and he was wearing his saggiest, most embarrassingly unflattering pair of old pants. Why did he have underwear like a grandad? Now that he thought about it, the rest of his clothes weren't much better. Compared to Even he looked like a student. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. He worked out, so he didn't think he was fat, but it had been such a long time that he had had sex he wondered if it had changed. He heard the younger ones in the lab talking about waxing and shaving. Should he do that? He shook his head and laughed at himself. Too late now...

Even was already in bed when he came through. He slipped in beside him, under the covers and all of a sudden he felt very uncomfortable. 

Honesty, right?

"I feel a bit weird, Even. Are you sure this is ok?"

"As long as you are ok with this I am too. I've had an unexpectedly wonderful day: I met and got to know a gorgeous man, had a brilliant make out session, ate a delicious sandwich and got a free fizzy water at a UiO reception." He leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Even's little speech gave Isak the comfort he needed. He lay down and pulled the covers up.

"Goodnight Even."

"Night Isak."

And before Isak could say anything else, Even had instantly fallen asleep.

 

Isak had been awake for a while. In the little light that sneaked through the blinds, he looked at the face across the pillow from him. Even hadn't been joking when he said he slept like the dead. He had creases in his face, and his hair was messed up and a little greasy with product. His eyelashes gently rested on his cheeks and Isak could see the lines and wrinkles around his eyes that came with age. He was well aware that he had them too. There was some sleep at the corner of his left eye. Even's hair was a dirty blond colour, but at each temple there were subtle greys that gently blended to create an effect that Isak desperately wanted to touch. So he did. As he lightly stroked the strands, Even awoke very slowly. He must have been deeply asleep.

"I'm so sorry." Isak whispered. "I shouldn't have...I didn't mean to wake you but you looked so touchable and I obviously have no self control!"

Even smiled. "It's ok. What time is it? I need to take my medication. Did my alarm not go off?" Even rubbed at his eyes, scratched his head and yawned.

Isak glanced at his phone, "Erm, it's only 06:30. I'm not a great sleeper and 5 hours seems to be all I needed."

Even raised one eyebrow and smiled again. "I'll be back in a minute."

He pulled back the covers and padded to the bathroom. Isak watched him, not even trying to hide it. Even was wearing a sleep top and slouch trousers that sat rather invitingly on his hips. He heard Even pee, pop some pills out of a blister pack, pour some water and then the sound of the flush. He walked back thorough the bathroom door and stopped half way across the room. He looked confused.

"Well this is a turn up for the books! Can you tell me why there is a beautiful man in my bed, wearing my t-shirt and boxers and looking at me with what I can only describe a sex hair?!"

Isak laughed. 

Even came back to the bed and slid back under the covers. Isak looked at him and leaned over to kiss him. He started slowly but then took a bit of control and pushed Even back down onto the mattress with his body weight.

"You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen, Even." He said.

Even beamed a smile back up at him, he twirled his fingers through Isak's hair. "You're pretty hot yourself you know."

As they kissed, Isak could feel himself becoming aroused. He pushed his chest down onto Even and trailed his hand down Even's side. Even giggled, 'Aha, a tickly bit' Isak thought. He could feel his self-control begin to fade. Even met his passion, but just as Isak was about to take it further, Even pulled back.

"Isak, we haven't really talked about this." Isak blinked at him. "Do you want to have sex with me now?"

Isak paused thoughtfully. "I'm not sure" he answered, then frowned. "That didn't come out right. I mean, YES, I very much want to have sex with you but I must admit that it has been a rather long time since I was close to anyone like this. I'm not really prepared, if you know what I mean."

"I'm not exactly well practiced myself at the moment." Even laughed.

There was a silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but it felt loaded.

Even spoke first. "I propose that we continue kissing for another 20 minutes. I'll let you get to first base, if you agree to do likewise. Then we'll shower separately and by then breakfast will have arrived. We'll eat and get on with our day. If at the end of everything, you still want to spend time with me, we can see what happens. What do you think?"

Isak looked down at him and smiled. "Let's do that!"

It was Even's turn to laugh. "Ok then! Let's order breakfast for half an hour, I'm ravenous!"

 

Even 

As Even turned the key in the lock and pushed in through the apartment door he had a very strange feeling. It was like a form of time travel. Twenty years just dropped away and he imagined himself coming home from school to be greeted by his mum and dad and the smell of dinner cooking. His dad had worked shifts and mum had chosen to be a home-maker when he came along as a little late 'surprise' in her 40s, so they were often both at home.

He walked into the hallway, picking up some mail and putting it in his bag. Isak remained outside the door. 

"Come in Isak." He motioned. Isak stepped over the threshold and joined him in the kitchen. 

Even had been in and out of the apartment all week, organising the sale of both the apartment and his parents furniture. He had sorted through their personal effects and had taken the few things that he valued: their wedding rings, some photo albums and some old but memory filled crockery.

The late morning light was streaming in the windows.

"Would you like to see my room?" Even wiggled his eyebrows.

Of course, it hadn't been his room for two decades, but as a home office it still had the deep windowsills that he had loved to sit in as a boy. He slid onto the sill and Isak sat down opposite him.

"How are you doing?" Isak asked.

"Ok." Even answered. He wasn't quite sure how he was feeling. "They were older so, as I said, I wasn't too shocked. But finding out about dad's support for mental health charities and projects like yours has taken me a bit by surprise. It makes me wonder if I hurt them by staying away."

"I can't speak for them, Even, but everyone always says that what makes parents most happy, is seeing their children happy. I think you gave them that. You are successful and self sufficient. You control your condition as well as you can and you are a loving and caring person. And you're really hot."

Even smiled. He was so grateful that Isak was here. "Can we sit for a bit?"

"Take as long as you need."

Even played some music on his phone and then alternately looked out of the window and back at Isak. Once or twice their eyes met and they smiled at each other. He let his head fall back against the wall.

"God, I could really do with a smoke! This was my spot...window open, trying not to get caught."

Isak looked at him. "You know weed is proven to have a bad effect on those with mental health conditions. As your doctor I'd advise against it!"

Even leaned over and kissed him. "Noted." Isak kissed him back, sliding closer and pushing him against the wall. Even let himself fall under Isak's spell. Letting Isak's lips and tongue, hands and fingers, soothe his heart. He let out a little sigh as Isak pulled back. Even pecked his lips once, "Let's go."

Even stood up, picked up the final box and led Isak out of the apartment. He locked the door and turned and hugged Isak tightly. He spoke gently into his neck,

"Thank you so much...for everything. I believe I promised you dinner."

"Can we stop by the chemist and then eat in your room? I'm not ready to leave you yet."

Even slipped his fingers into Isak's palm and led him down the stairs. They headed home together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to work tomorrow so trying to get as much done as possible. I wanted to hold off and post less quickly but I can't help it. I'm an addict!


	8. Time out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What you see is what you get.

Anna

Anna sat at her desk and looked at the clock on her laptop, Monday 08:30. She couldn't remember the last time she had arrived before Isak. She couldn't remember the last time Isak hadn't been here at all. He was never sick and he rarely took holidays...usually just a couple of days in the mountains between projects. He DID go to a conference once but she didn't think that counted as time off.

Dr DeMontforte, the Dean, marched into her and Isak's shared office. He paused and looked at Isak's empty chair then at her with frustration.

"I've just had a phonecall from Dr Valtersen. He will be taking this year's backdated holidays in one go, which amounts to a total of 4 weeks. I must say the short notice is rather annoying, but as he hasn't had a sick day...ever, or a holiday during a project, I have no legal right to refuse him. He states adamantly that you are more than capable of leading the team with Dr Abbas until his return. I assume he is correct."

Anna nodded silently.

"Good. Please continue." And out he stalked without another word.

Anna sat dumbstruck. After a few minutes she picked up her phone and called Isak. It went straight to a recorded message explaining blandly that he was on holiday and out of contact for four weeks. She sent him an email which also replied automatically with an 'out of office'. She WhatsApped him: same reply. She sent him an SMS: same! She went onto his Facebook page, but it was gone. He didn't use any other social media. She was at a loss.

It seemed like Isak really was taking time off.

What WAS he up to?


	9. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wee shopping trip.

Isak

"If you're old enough to do it, Even, you're old enough to talk about it."

"I know. I'm not a child Isak, but I just wasn't expecting to talk about it...loudly...at 09:00 on a Monday morning in the middle of a Pharmacy superstore in one of the busiest streets in Oslo."

Isak looked down at their basket of shopping so far. He was enjoying himself.

"Look," Isak exclaimed, "we have plenty of prophylactics and lubricant. At least for one day." He giggled.

Even sighed, "You could just say condoms and lube, Isak. You sound like a scientist."

"I AM a scientist." He frowned playfully at Even. "However, if we are going to have sexual intercourse anally, do you think we should get a douche for each of us. I read that it is not recommended to share."

"You're doing it on purpose now Isak!" Isak watched Even's face heat up. It made a nice change.

Isak looked at the blushing man in front of him. He had known Even for only a week, and really had only met him and talked to him properly for little more than a day. He couldn't explain it but he felt like he had known him his whole life. In the past 24 hours Isak had talked to, and listened to, Even more than anyone else he had ever known. Last night, as they ate dinner and for hours after, they had talked and talked, baring their souls to each other.

They had shared the most secret and intimate details of their pasts, including things that neither of them were very proud of. Isak had learned previously of Even's Bipolar condition, his worry at having disappointed his parents, his regret over losing his childhood friends and the real joy and satisfaction that he found in his work. However, he also shared with Isak his existentialist fear about being alone and ultimately dying alone. So very Norwegian! 

Isak had told Even how he found the same satisfaction in his career but was secretly frustrated with the rest of his life which he described as vanilla. He admitted to Even, something which he had never told anyone else: He had been severely hurt by Julian's betrayal and had been achingly lonely and afraid for many years. He hid this by throwing himself in his work. He also, like Even, had a deep fear of being alone at the end of his life.

Their conversation had been exhausting. As midnight came and went, Isak knew that Even needed his sleep and insisted that they go to bed to do just that. They had fallen asleep holding each other and had woken up in a tangled mess of arms, legs, sheets, sweat and two very striking and difficult to ignore morning erections. 

Isak knew that he wouldn't, actually couldn't, leave Even now. He made the momentous, but easy, decision and phoned Dr DeMontforte. He explained that he would be taking his annual leave starting immediately, all four weeks in one chunk. The Dean had tried to change his mind but Isak was not for turning! He blocked his Facebook and set up 'out of office' messages everywhere he could think of. He had every faith that Anna could cope. She was his Number One after all, and it would be an excellent opportunity for her!

He told Even the good news, which resulted in a heavy make out and grinding session on the bed which re-ignited their erections. These 'boners' as Even had called them, were the direct cause of their shopping expedition.

Isak picked up two anal douches and put them in the basket.

"Anything else?"

Even looked at him stunned and then broke into one of his crinkly, eye hiding, grins. He pulled Isak to him, put the basket on the floor and kissed him passionately. Right there, in the Pharmacy, in front of the butt plugs and vibrators.

When he had finished, he picked up the basket and marched to the checkout,

"Nope, I think that's enough for now!"

 

Even

Back in the hotel room Even smiled as he unpacked their bag. 

"This isn't very romantic, you know." He didn't want Isak to be disappointed with their first time.

"I disagree. I think this is one of the most sexy things we could be doing. I told you yesterday that I distrust fiction, I prefer facts. Movies and stories that have people falling into bed and having amazing sex without any of the real stuff that you actually HAVE to do is not helpful. Sex is messy, complicated, smelly and sometimes a bit rubbish. But I would still rather be doing it with you."

Even was gobsmacked. Isak walked towards him and put his hands on either side of Even's head, caressing each cheek. Even closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"I want to be as close to you as it is possible for two people to be. That means being real. I want to put my hands and lips and tongue and dick everywhere on you and in you, and I want you to do the same to me. But I want us to be safe and healthy. I want to share it all with you, Even, knowing that it means I'll be cleaning out my bum for you, and that, hopefully, you'll be doing the same for me."

Even just looked at him.

"What happened to the man who couldn't speak in my presence?" He teased.

"I guess he found his voice." Isak shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm having so much fun with these two!


	10. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time.

Isak

Even stood in front of him and looked straight into his eyes. They were almost the same height he realised, especially with Even's hair all floppy from the shower and lack of styling. He looked into the cool blue of Even's eyes and watched as his pupils began to enlarge, a clear biological indicator of arousal. Isak smiled.

He reached forward and began to unbutton Even's shirt. The buttons were fiddly, so although he was trying to look seductive by staring into Even's eyes the whole time, he had to give in and look at what he was doing.

"God, these are tough little fuckers aren't they." He joked

Even laughed back, "Shall I assist?" He placed his hand on top of Isak's and undid each button with him. As Isak pulled the shirt down across his shoulders, he gently kissed Even's beautiful neck and delicate collar bones. Of course he had forgotten to undo the wrist buttons, so that took a few extra minutes of wrestling, sighing and giggling before Even was bare chested. Isak took his time looking at Even with his eyes and with his hands. He skin was so pale, truly Scandinavian. He traced the moles and birth marks, lightly touched some old acne scars and a few little dips that Isak knew had been Chicken Pox. 

"Your turn." Even breathed.

He pulled Isak's t-shirt over his head, getting it caught a little at his chin, and flung it into the corner of the room. Isak could 'feel' Even looking at him. He knew he wasn't as smooth and pale as Even, but he was surprisingly content to have Even see him. See him as he really was.

"Isak, I hadn't realised how strong you were. I thought you just ran at the gym?"

"No. I do weights and rowing as well. Sometimes a class like yoga or conditioning. Am I better than you thought? I must admit I'm a bit nervous for you to see me. I'm not exactly model material. I have hair in some funny places!"

Even's hand stroked Isak's biceps and pectoral muscles, sliding down to his abdominals. His eyes carefully followed his hands and fingers. He rested a palm on each side of his waist, his pinkies dipping below his waist band. Even kissed Isak on the mouth.

"You are perfect."

Isak lost it. 

He had been so controlled and steady up to this point. He had been cerebral and aware. Making wise decisions and careful suggestions. All of a sudden, the beauty of Even's body and person, years of loneliness and pain and the carnal desire bubbling in his stomach and groin came crashing together and he launched himself at Even. He carelessly tore his own trousers and underwear off, pulled at Even's until he was naked too and pushed him back towards the bed.

"Even don't laugh, but...so turned on...now...I can't...think...straight."

He sat on Even's hips, straddling him with their dicks touching. They were both hard, and the contact made Isak groan out loud.

"I've got to...I can't...if I don't..."

Even giggled, "Use your words Isak."

"No...urgh...hands....hands."

He clumsily lubricated his right hand and took both of them in it at the same time. Even joined him with his hand. They looked directly at each other and began to stroke and pull. Isak glanced down and shuddered.

"Isak, look at me. Look at me, baby."

Isak looked at him. He heard Even gasp and make a whine in the back of his throat.

Isak came first, making what he was sure was the worst come face in the history of orgasms, but he couldn't help it. He groaned too loudly, exclaimed a noisy "fuck" and ejaculated all over Even's chest. Apparently, that was enough for Even who followed it up with a "God Isak, your face, fuck, fuck" and shot his load far enough that some of it got caught in Isak's curls.

Isak collapsed on top of Even, his breath heavy and his body shuddering. 

"God, I'm so sorry. That was so fast but I couldn't help it."

Even kissed his damp forehead and held him tight. "It's ok Isak, we've got plenty of time to take it slow. It was fantastic to see you lose it like that. You looked amazing, I can't believe we are here."

He paused. "I think it's better to get the first one out of the way!"

Isak kissed him slowly, gently, then deeply with the full weight of his feelings behind it. 

He laughed, "It looks like we didn't need to prep and use the douches after all!"

"Oh no." Even growled, "we absolutely did, but you'll have to give me at least half an hour. I'm not a horny teenager and more and these things take time."

Isak smiled - there was no rush. He had four weeks after all! 

 

Even

Here. Now. In this place. At this time. Even was content.

He lay on the bed, their bed, with his right hand behind his head and his left arm round a sleeping Isak, who was snuggled into the gap between his left ear and shoulder. His left index fingers was drawing lazy circles between Isak's shoulder blades, and gently tracing the bumps and grooves of his spine. Every now and then he would lean over and smell Isak's hair, or kiss his messy curls, although more often than not, he ended up being tickled by them. 

He knew that they both smelled pretty bad, and that the room was a mess, but he didn't care. The past two days had been the best of his life so far, and he thanked his lucky stars that he had walked into that club last weekend.

Beside him Isak stirred, gently waking up. He turned his head towards Even and tipped his neck up, looking for Even's mouth. This was now a familiar move. Even leaned down and kissed him. He couldn't imagine ever not kissing him. Their lips stuck together and dragged a little as they parted.

"Even?"

"Yeah?"

"You know in that cafe on the night of the presentation...when you told me about your bipolar. Was that because you saw me looking at your tattoo?" Even nodded. 

"Erm...I wasn't looking at your tattoo. You had just taken your jacket off and you had rolled up your sleeves, and I was immensely turned on by your forearms. Apparently rolled up sleeves and bare wrists is a kink of mine. I had no idea. I wanted to mount you on the table there and then. When you started opening up to me so honestly it took me a good few minutes to get my semi to die back down. I felt really bad because you were being all open and share-y, and I was horny. I just thought you should know."

"That's good to know baby", he smirked. "I think my wrists might be the only place where I don't hurt." Even groaned. "Actually take that back, they are sore from taking my weight when I was sitting up whilst you rode me."

"I know what you mean. I'm aching too. I expected my bum to nip a bit, but my balls and dick are pretty tender too."

"My back feels like I've been bench pressing...and my thigh is grumbling something rotten."

Isak snorted, "That's from the cramp you got when you tried to put your leg over my shoulder."

"The website said that was an excellent position for deep penetration whilst maintaining loving eye contact. I think we need some practice."

"You could come to my yoga class. That would help you be supple. It's because you've always been naturally slim that you've never had to work at it, so your muscles aren't used to it. I believe I win this one. I am the master of bendiness."

Even giggled and kissed Isak's curls again. "I'll get you a medal."

"Just a certificate that I can stick up above my computer will be fine."

"Erm...No. Definitely NSFW!"

"Aw baby, but I have all my awards there...Ok I'll keep this one private." Isak dipped and put his head under the covers to kiss Even's stomach. He popped his head back up immediately, blinked and opened his eyes wide, "Phew, we smell baaaaad!"

Even laughed. "It don't think it's just us. I think it is the whole room. I think we're are gonna have to actually go outside today and let housekeeping in to sort this mess out."

Isak groaned again, "I suppose so, but not yet, yeah?"

He snuggled back down into his place and whispered to Even, "You had better leave them a substantial tip!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek. Not sure about writing this. Did it work?


	11. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is time's beggar.

Even

Four weeks.

These had been the most exciting, satisfying, challenging, happy, marvellous, totally fucking awesome four weeks of his life. He couldn't believe everything that had happened...

For the first few days all they had done was talk, eat, sleep and have as much sex as their 40 something bodies would let them have. The fact that they were in Even's hotel room made it even better, because someone else tidied up every day and did their laundry. 

Sex with Isak had been a quiet revelation. It was as if a whole layer of intimacy that he had never known existed had suddenly been revealed to him. The shy and sensitive man who had struggled to even speak to Even at the start had transformed into a confident and ambitious lover. He was willing to try anything Even wanted and himself had some excellent suggestions. To Even's eternal delight, Isak was a little bit dirty! Even wasn't ready to build a dungeon, BDSM did not really do it for either of them, but playing with their senses and altering their experiences with touch and taste as well as smell - that surprised him - had blown his mind. Isak often took the lead and Even loved it. When Isak had encouraged him to introduce music to their lovemaking, through shared earbuds, he had had the most intense orgasm of his life. 

Of course there had been a few disasters. Eating chocolate sauce off each others' bodies was not very sexy at all, no matter what Cosmo said. All you got was sticky in a bad way and it made your teeth look like a medieval beggar. Isak hadn't enjoyed being on top as much as he thought he would, and so Even had selflessly shouldered the responsibility of prostate reconnaissance. Being inside Isak was a joy. Even, it turned out, struggled at first to get Isak to come from a blow job alone, but a Google search and the use of one lubed up finger had solved that dilemma! Isak preferred kissing to biting, although he put up with the latter for Even's sake. Shared showers were good for hand jobs, but standing up sex was something that they just could coordinate. At all. But it didn't matter. They loved it all.

Coming untouched was a challenge they were still chasing: together, enthusiastically and regularly.

And, God, it had been such fun! Isak was right, the disasters and the successes both added to their knowledge of each other. He had loved every intimate minute with this man. His man.

Once their sex drive had settled down to allow them time enough to leave the hotel room, they had begun to expore Oslo. They still shagged like champions, or at least enthusiastic amateurs, every night.

They started at the Munch Museum with a Even regaling details of the life of the great man. They had also gone to the Opera House, Palace and Parliament, looked at old buildings and new exciting architecture. Even had guided him round the National Museum, Ibsen Collection and Viking Museum. He had shown Isak his favourite art works, with Isak gazing at him and drinking in every word. They visited Holmenkollen, only to look, and the Oslofjord Islands. The ate picnics in the sun, swam in the waves and kissed in the dark.

Isak for his part had shown Even the Science Museum and Planetarium. He had walked him round historical districts, describing the lives of the people who used to live there. To Even it seemed to be mostly about the diseases they died from. They avoided UiO - real life could wait.

They ate somewhere different every meal, and listened to live bands play rock, jazz and blues. Even had taken Isak to the 'best club in Oslo' and introduced him to the DJ as his 'boyfriend'.

Unfortunately it had also been the fastest four weeks either of them had ever experienced. Even had taken as much time out of the business as he could, and even then he'd had to do a few Skype meetings to keep clients happy. Isak, for his part, had no choice but to return to the lab once their time was gone, he had used up all his holidays in one glorious lump.

 

Isak

"Even?" Isak broke the silence.

They were lying together on Even's bed, listening to music, cuddling and touching.

"Yes, Isak?, I recognise that thoughtful tone."

"I love you."

"Oh" Isak could hear Even's breath quicken.

"I wanted you to know."

"Ok. Isak. Thank you..." He kissed his curls. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to say it just because you said it, but I hope you know that I love you too. I'm head over heels for you and I would do anything...anything that you wanted. Just ask. I love you."

Isak continued in a steady but serious voice, "I'm saying it now because I think it is too important to be said in the heat of a passionate moment."

"Are you about to turn all science-y on me?"

Isak smiled. This was so important to him. He felt it so strongly and he wanted Even to know.

"Do you think there IS such a thing as love?" Isak asked.

"Erm, well, yes. Because I love you."

"I don't."

"Okaaaaaay?? But you just said 'I love you' to me. You changed your mind pretty quickly there!"

"I mean. I DO love you, but I don't think love is an actual thing."

Even turned with a puzzled look, "What the hell are you talking about? Isak?"

Isak took a deep breath - he had already laid himself open in front of Even but this felt like the final layer.

"I think love is a 'bundle' emotion. It is a concept. That's why poets can write about it so much because it means something different to different people."

He looked up at Even. He sat up and then shifted his body, sitting crossed legged beside him on the bed. Even gave him his full attention

"It is a convenient term that includes all the things that it actually is... Let me explain. When I say, 'I love you, Even' I am really saying lots of things."

He took Even's hand.

"For me, I love you means: I have chosen you, I am committed to you, I put you first, I want to be kind to you, I care about you, I like how you make me feel, you turn me on, I don't like it when you are not here, I will make sacrifices for you...and so many more. I think that is so much more meaningful than a clichéd 'I love you'!"

Even stared at Isak. The silence stretched.

"Is that how you feel about me...the choosing and commitment and I turn you on stuff?"

"Well...Even, yes!"

Even sat up too and looked him in the eyes.

"Why are you saying this now?"

Isak kissed him gently. "Our four weeks are nearly up. It has been stunning. I have never had an experience like this ever. But it isn't real life. I mean, it's REAL, I'm more 'me' with you than I have ever been with anyone else. But we can't live like this every day." He took a breath. "We need to talk about what happens now. On our first night I told you that I didn't want to leave you. I still don't want to leave you - but you are headed to plan an event in Berlin and my lab awaits me."

Isak was shocked to find that his eyes were wet, he was crying.

"I don't want to leave you, Even. I don't want you to leave me." A huge sob escaped from the back of his throat. "I can't go back to being the guy I was - hidden emotions, all friendliness and hard work but a dull heart. I don't want to be me without you." And then Isak very definitely fell apart. He sobbed and chocked, cried his eyes out until he was a snottery, wet mess. He could feel a cold and dreadful lump sitting in his chest.

Even pulled Isak to him tightly. He stroked his hair, kissed his neck and whispered. "That's fucking amazing Isak. YOU are fucking amazing. Everything you said... I don't want to be without you either." 

Isak felt Even's tears start to wet his neck.

"Don't worry. We'll find a way. I'm not going to leave you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're nearly done.


	12. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their four weeks are coming to an end.

Even

Even looked at this glorious man asleep in his arms. It had all been so easy, so obvious, the most natural thing in the world to fall in love with Isak. From the first moment he saw him sweaty and beautiful in the club, he couldn't help himself. And Isak had overwhelmed him with his response. Physically, it had been wonderful. Even had never had sex like it. Even loved making love with Isak.

But Isak was also clever. He was so intelligent, so smart that it took Even's breath away. When they talked about anything, Even felt like he was paddling in the shadows whilst Isak was trying to explain the whole of the deep blue sea to him. It wasn't that Isak was a show off, but as they became more and more intimate with each other, Isak blossomed. He went from being a stuttering mess (which Even had found delightfully attractive) to someone who had deeply thought out ideas about nearly everything (which Even also loved, but if he was honest, found a little intimidating). Even thought about how Isak had listened to him as they had gone round the museums and art galleries, but now he would bet that Isak had already known most of what Even 'explained' to him.

Even had thought that Isak just knew about science, but he was a proper renaissance man. He had read philosophy and the classics. He knew so much about Norwegian and other European literature that Even had wondered when he had had time to read them all. He had a wide knowledge of music - although it was mostly old school, Even teased him about his lack of knowledge on what the 'young people' we're listening to. He had well thought out opinions on nearly everything.

All this had just made Isak more attractive to him. 

And then Isak and told him that he loved him. 

But, because it was Isak this wasn't straightforward. He had told Even that love for him was a 'bundle' of emotions. That he cared for Even, was committed to Even, chose him and put him first. This was love for Isak. 

And Even didn't know what to do with that. How could he match that? What could he give Isak that would give him what he deserved. He loved him but he had started to get lost in his own thoughts. Even HAD to keep working on his business, it was his livelihood and it had been so hard won over so many years. But Isak was committed to his work in Oslo. It was his vocation and gave his life meaning. Not only that but he actually, literally 'made the world a better place'. In a few years he would have created medicines and therapies that would help kids as desperate as Even had been when he was first diagnosed.

Even didn't know what to do. For two days now, these thoughts had been rolling round and round his brain. And now he had hit the final brick wall. What did it come down to? He couldn't stay in Oslo, Isak couldn't leave Oslo, that was all.

Isak rolled over as he slowly woke in Even's arms. He tipped his head up as he had done every morning for the past month and requested a kiss from Even. Even kissed him with all the tenderness and love his could muster.

"Morning handsome." Isak yawned

"Morning baby." Even struggled to keep the despair and sadness out his voice.

Isak heard it immediately. "What's wrong Even?"

Even didn't know what to do. He had promised Isak honesty but he didn't know if his heart would survive it.

"I leave for Berlin at 18:00 today."

"What?" Isak exclaimed, "I thought your flight was on Tuesday?"

"I'm going to have to go a couple of days early. The next job is nowhere near ready and I've already left too much to the rest of the team for too long. They need me back with them."

Isak looked confused.

"Look Isak, your project needs you back and my business can't run without me. It's been the best four weeks of my life and I can't believe I've been allowed to have this with you. But we're not a couple of unrealistic teenagers. We always knew this couldn't last..." His words tailed off, he had more he was going to say but the look on Isak's face had stopped him dead.

Isak didn't look sad or disappointed or hurt. Isak looked fucking angry.

 

Isak

Anger surged through Isak and he went from Even's side to standing at the end of the bed in one swift move. 

"What the fuck, Even? Are you breaking up with me? What? What is this?" He couldn't think...maybe he was misunderstanding what Even meant.

"Isak, I just don't think it's a good idea to pretend. Long distance never works and it'll only mean that we end up hurting each other."

"And this doesn't hurt?" Isak shouted. "Were you thinking of discussing this with me at all or are you now the King of this relationship?"

"I've been thinking. I think this is like a holiday romance. Fantastic in a certain time and place but it can't really be transplanted into every day life."

Isak opened his mouth and shut it three times. Each time, no words came out. The silence was overwhelming. Isak was about to really lose it, so he tried his old trick of imagining cool snow falling and settling over his heart. He swallowed slowly. He was in control. He could do this. He looked straight at Even. In a cold, calm voice, no shouting, no anger, no emotion at all he said, 

"Thank You. I appreciate your honesty." 

He steadily and methodically went round the hotel room picking up all his belongings and put them in his rucksack. Isak could feel Even watch him but neither of them said anything. When he had everything that was his, he turned to look at Even who was still sitting on the bed with the sheet around his middle. He let himself look at Even one last time. His face was grey. Isak took a deep breath, 

"Goodbye Even." 

And with every bit of self control he possessed he opened the door, not looking back. He quietly let it lock behind him. He walked along the corridor and waited patiently for the lift, staring up the whole time at the floor number display. He walked into the open lift, let the door close, swallowed thickly and allowed one tear to fall. 

He breathed out, "Fuck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still here.


	13. After

Isak

Isak stared at the computer screen in front of him. He sighed. Anna had done an excellent job in his absence and the plans they had put in place were exactly as he would have arranged them. He all of a sudden noticed that Anna had been talking to him, and now she was looking at him across the desk and expecting an answer. He had no idea of anything that she had said. He hadn't actually noticed that she was in the room.

"Isak? Isak? I said, what do you think?"

He looked at her and paused. He blinked slowly. He felt his emotions rise to the surface: the pain and sorrow, the sting of Even's last words. He swallowed it all down and locked it away inside himself.

'I can do this' he thought to himself. 'I am an intelligent professional, not a love sick teenager, I will not be ruled by my emotions. It's just like after Bastard Julian...I can accept what has happened and move on. I love my job and my colleagues. This is fine. I am fine.'

He looked at Anna and smiled. "Sorry, Number One, I was too busy looking at the excellent job you have done and being slightly worried that you're better at this than I am. What were you saying?"


	14. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak talks

Anna

There was something wrong with Isak. At first Anna had thought it was a mid-life crisis, what with his unplanned four week holiday and his new penchant for wearing clothes that actually fitted him, were vaguely fashionable and cost more than the price of a kebab.

But there was obviously more to it. He was still at work all hours of the day, like before, and he still gave his best effort to the project, but there was something missing. Whenever he thought no one was looking at him, she could see his face fall. The only word she could use to describe it was 'pain'. He had been like this for more than two weeks. She had to speak to him. He would do the same for her.

"Isak, I don't mean to pry, but are you ok?"

He looked up at her, almost as if he was surprised that she was there.

He face broke into a smile but it was just a moment too late to fool her as a real smile.

"Of course Number One. Is something wrong?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

He looked at her, and as he looked she watched as his eyes began to grow glassy and moist. She couldn't work out what was happening, and then it clicked, Isak was crying.  
She didn't know what to do, so she walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. That was the final straw. Isak burst into tears and began crying onto the hair at the top of her head - as he was at least 30cm taller than her and couldn't reach her shoulder. Although WAY out of her comfort zone with Isak, Anna gently stroked his back and let him cry. After what she thought was a suitable amount of time she asked,

"Isak are you ill. Do you have cancer or something?"

This made Isak give a very wet, but amused snort. He pulled back and looked at her. His face was blotchy and his eyes were red, and his hair, for some reason, looked like it had been hit by lightening.

"No. I'm not dying." He shrugged. "Well not physically anyway." Isak paused and smiled a weak smile. He looked at her. "I met and guy and I fell in love with him. Then he left me. He fucking left me. That's all."

Anna looked at her watch, 16:30...close enough.

"Right boss. We're going to a bar and you're going to tell me everything."

By 19:00 they were both pretty sauced and Isak had regaled all the details of his four weeks with Even to Anna. By his third beer he had started to give her the specifics of their love life, which she was far too interested in to stop.

"I mean he was, he is, he is just so beautiful. He has this long, pale body and his arms and legs just go everywhere. His neck...so lovely. His dick is so amazing and when he...anyway...I'm not that drunk. And he kisses me like I am worth it. We laughed so much and I told him everything. Even stuff I hadn't really told myself."

He looked at her,

"Oh God, Number One, I really miss him. I miss him so much it actually hurts here." He pointed to his chest. "I mean I know it's just adrenaline in my bloodstream, but that doesn't make it feel any better."

"Right..so you met a guy, fell in love, had great sex and shared your souls. Then he got cold feet, made up some shit-assed excuse and made you leave. Have I missed out anything?"

Isak shook his head.

"So why are you still here?" She asked

Isak looked confused. "He broke UP with me..."

"Weren't you listening? He got scared and behaved in such a way as to make YOU dump HIM,"

Isak stopped. His eyebrows met in the crease above his nose.

"You think?"

"I know!" She answered. "The real question is, what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you think I should do?"

She thought about it, "Honestly, I have no idea. But I think if you go home, sleep this off and then put that massive brain of yours onto the problem, you'll come up with something that will make everyone happier, including me."

Isak thought about it. He stood up, put on his jacket and held out his arm for her.

"To the tram stop, Number One."

"Right you are boss. Make it so!"


	15. Jonas

Isak

Even. Even Bech Naesheim. Not a common name, it shouldn't be too difficult to find. 

Even wasn't on Facebook. He didn't have any personal social media that Isak could find. In the end he just Googled him and his 'EBN Productions' page came up as the first hit. His first instinct was to call or email but he held back. He realised he was going to have to be bit underhand about this.

"Hello, EBN Productions, Eli speaking, how may I help you?"

"Good morning. My name is...Jonas Vasquez. I was hoping to speak to Mr Bech Naesheim regarding a project I would like him to develop."

"I'm afraid Mr Bech Naesheim is unavailable at the moment. I could put you through to Ms Julia Brahm who is dealing with his workload. If you would just hold please..."

"No! Wait!" Isak tried to stop him, but he was too late. He considered hanging up but as he had no other ideas, he thought he might as well see where this took him.

"Julia Brahm."

"Good morning Ms Brahm. My name is...Jonas Vasquez and I was hoping to speak to Mr Bech Naesheim regarding a project I would like him to develop. I was told that you are covering his workload today."

"Please call me Julia. Yes I will be covering Even's projects for the foreseeable future. How can I help you."

Isak faltered. He didn't know where to go from here. "Erm...well, actually, um, Julia...can I be honest? I'm not very good at this...my name isn't Jonas Vasquez. I'm Dr Isak Valtersen and I need to speak to Even urgently on a personal matter. I'm not a creep or anything. I just really need to be able to talk to him."

"Oh my God! Isak? THE Isak? Curly hair and gorgeous mouth Isak?"

"Um?...sorry?"

"I am SO glad to hear from you!"

"Sorry? Do you think you could explain a little bit?"

"Absolutely Isak! Even, stupid bastard that he is, phoned a couple of weeks ago and told us all about you and your time together- in WAY too much detail I may add. I'm sure your arse is really delicious but yuck, didn't need to know that!"

Isak face burned and he had never been so glad to be thousands of miles away on the other end of a phone.

"He then told me that he had, and I quote, 'Fucked up so spectacularly badly that he was going to move to Tibet and become a monk.' Unfortunately he left out the details of this particular fuck up but I can only assume he hurt you in some way which caused you to leave."

Isak nodded, and then realising that Julia couldn't see, said "yeah, that's about right."

"Classic Even!"

"So where is he now, Julia? Not really Tibet?"

"He never told us exactly, but my bet is he is still in Oslo, somewhere where he can lay low. By this point he is very likely pretty down, possibly even hitting a depressive episode. It's very unlikely that he's taking care of himself properly. As I said, stupid bastard!"

"Thank you Julia. You've been very helpful." Isak went to put the phone down. He heard Julia speak in a much softer voice. 

"Um...Isak? If you find Even, will you tell that big giraffe that we all love him and that the business is fine. We are actually pretty talented and don't really need him!"

"I will. Thanks Julia."

Isak knew exactly where Even was, he just had to decide what to do about it.


	16. Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laying low and standing tall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this a wee bit but I still don't like it. Somethings missing!

Even

Even could hear ringing. He couldn't work out if it was inside, or outside of his brain. He settled lower into his nest and pulled the cover-less duvet up over his head. It would stop either way.

Even knew he wasn't in a full depressive episode. He was still able to reason and think, feed himself and he was even brushing his teeth. He knew that all he really was...was sad. He had broken his own heart, he had broken Isak's heart and it made him sad.

The ringing didn't stop. Every two seconds, like a heartbeat, the bell rang. And rang and rang. It wasn't going to stop any time soon. It slowly dawned on Even that the ringing was actually the doorbell. He had no idea who it could be - no one knew he was in Oslo, never mind at his parent's apartment. Within his cloudy mind he knew that it might be important - like a fire or something.

He rose from the covers into an upright position with all the difficulty of someone coping with gravity on Jupiter. He was so heavy he crawled to the living room door. When he got there he used the door handle to unfold into a standing position, like a flamingo rising from the glades. With the duvet still round his shoulders and body, he shuffled to the door. Without even thinking to look through the spy hole, he opened the door.

Isak?

Even just stood there, confused and surprised.

"Good morning Even." 

Isak kissed him on the cheek and walked past him, boldly sweeping into the kitchen. He was carrying two bags of what looked like groceries.

Even stood at the open front door, staring at Isak as he busied himself around the kitchen: opening bags and boxes, unpacking blankets and cutlery and pouring what looked like soup into a saucepan he had brought with him.

"I figured that you weren't eating very well so I got a recipe from one of the university nutritionists for a healthy soup that is full of goodness but also easy to digest. It is actually for stroke victims but...well, won't do any harm!"

Even kept staring. Eventually he found his voice.

"Isak...what are you doing here?" It had been so long since he had spoken that his voice sounded rough and unfamiliar.

Isak turned to look at Even, and the look in his eyes filled Even's heart. He wasn't sure, however, what it filled his heart with...love...pleasure...regret...pain?

Isak sighed, Even could see this confidence stutter a little.

"Erm...I called Berlin and spoke to Julia on the phone. She told me lots of things that you had said about me and about us and how you thought you had fucked up. She guessed you were still in Oslo, not Tibet as you had suggested, laying low...and that made me think of here."

Even blinked slowly. This was a lot to take in. Isak had spoken to Julia. Isak had tracked him down and come to find him. Isak was making him nutritious stroke victim soup.

"Yes, but Isak, what are you DOING here?"

Isak turned back to the cooker and began stirring the soup. 

"Let me heat up this amazing soup, made with my own fair hands. You can go and put some clothes on. Then we'll sit down and eat and talk."

Even nodded, what else could he do, and padded through to his suitcase in the bedroom. He dropped the duvet and dragged out a fairly clean t-shirt and a pair of sweat trousers and put them on. He glanced in the mirror and decided to go to the bathroom and wash his face and do something with his hair.

When he came back through to the kitchen he felt a bit more awake. He saw that Isak had turned his bed, which had previously resembled a nest, into a neat pile of rather dirty bedding. He had put a blanket on the floor and laid out the soup like a picnic with some orange juice and fresh bread. Had he brought all this with him?

Isak pointed to the blanket, indicating that Even should sit down. Even folded his legs and sat down. He tasted the soup. It was the most delicious thing he had eaten in weeks.

"This is amazing, Isak. I didn't know you cooked."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Even. We spent all that time together and did all that talking...and...other things, but it wasn't really that long. Four weeks is not our whole relationship, just the first tiny bit of our life together."

Even stopped with the spoon halfway to his mouth.

"Our relationship? Our...erm..life..together?"

"Even, when I told you that I loved you, I explained that it meant I chose you, put you first and was committed to you. Then at the first sign of a challenge, I shut down and ran."

He ran his fingers through his hair making it stand up on end. Even noticed it, and it made the little butterfly in his stomach flap its wings.

"It's my fault. I forgot. I forgot everything you had told me. About yourself and your fears. I got so caught up in my own fears I forgot."

"What did you forget Isak?"

Isak paused. "That I love you and I don't want to leave you. Right from the start, I didn't want to leave you."

He paused again.

"The rest of it is all just window dressing. Whether was are in Oslo or Berlin, Barcelona or on the fucking moon. None of it matters, because none of it WILL matter unless I know we are together. I never want to leave you again."

They looked at each other, Even could feel his breathing beginning to get heavy, the atmosphere starting to thicken between them.

"So, as the new King of this relationship, what do we do now?"

"First, I suggest we finish this soup. Then you should have a shower, and well then we'll see what happens. There's no rush. We can take our time and sort this out. After all, Julia said, and I quote, 'If you find Even, tell that big giraffe that we love him and that business is fine.' Apparently they don't really need you. So, that's good!"

 

Isak

Isak looked in the mirror and sighed deeply; he ran his hands through his hair. It was neatly combed, with the curls behind his ears that Even loved, just sticking out a little bit. He inspected his clothes with a quick glance. His suit was the most expensive item of clothing that he and ever bought. It was dark green silk and fitted beautifully. His shirt was black, as was his tie. He was wearing his black trainers.

He pushed open the brushed aluminium door. Was it really just a few months since his birthday? He saw all his friends and colleagues standing on the left of the club. At the front on the dance floor, Even was standing with his back to him. He had on a new navy blue velvet suit but he was wearing the flowery shirt that he had worn to that UiO reception, 6 months ago, the night of their first kiss, well, their first proper kiss. His arse looked amazing.

To Even's right he could see Julia and Eli and some other friends of Even's from Oslo. He could see Mikael, amidst a group of men, smiling delightedly.

Even's newly rekindled friendship with Mikael was a thing of beauty to Isak. He was so proud of Even.

Even turned round and looked at him. Isak froze. All of a sudden he felt out of breath. Every time he looked at Even he felt close to him but this was more intimate and private than anything Isak had ever experienced before. He tried to move; but again, like that fucking gazelle, he was hypnotised by the blue gaze. Then Even smiled and held out his hand and the world returned. Isak knew for certain that Even was his future. He walked forward towards him and took his hand lightly, then grasped it with his full force.

"Hi baby" Even whispered, "you look beautiful. Nice trainers!"

"Hi yourself. God, you look so hot."

"That's nice" Even smiled and gently kissed him. "Wanna get married?"

Isak smiled at him and nodded simply. "Well, as everyone is here and we've both got new suits..."

Even laughed, "I love you Dr Isak Valtersen"

Isak giggled back, "good, because I'm never leaving you gain Even Bech Naesheim"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tusen Takk for reading.
> 
> Got my holiday to Oslo booked!


End file.
